My friend gifted me this book that I absolutely love. A thoughtful gift indeed as I love writing. She perhaps doesn’t realize it but it was a very thoughtful gift. (J Thank you Joyce!)
For a while it kept me, my thoughts and prayers company. I haven’t written in it for a quite a while. Today I picked it up and started going through it. Most of the prayers I’d written were mostly about fears, anxiety and doubt that I have obviously harbored for a while. It made me a bit sad because there weren’t as many happy moments captured as there were negative ones.
It got me thinking, does it really mean there aren’t good things happening in my life? Why I’m I so fixated on the negative side of life? I’m I subconsciously choosing to see what isn’t working out and what’s missing?
There are amazing things happening right now, not everything is perfect but there are wonderful and rewarding experiences happening yet for some reason I am not focusing on that. For instance this blog now has a purpose, I have big projects happening that have expanded my career. My relationship with my friends and family seems to be improving by the day. I am also healthy and well. I wondered then why do I seem to be so sad and I think I’ve figured it out.
I woke up today morning and as I started getting ready, I felt deep down in my core that I needed to stop and pay attention to how I really felt. I felt that I couldn’t face the day until I took stock of what was going on inside. Today I realized the reason as to why I focus on negative things is because I rarely stop to take time off for myself, to reset my mind and Spirit. To sit in quietness, talk to a friend or pray and redirect this ship back to its main course.
When we fail to do that we risk letting outside forces detour our path. We’re mercilessly subjected to outside forces that take over our “navigation system,” hence the feeling of not being in control and constant exhaustion.
I think the main thing I’ve had to re-learn today is that I need to intently be aware of when I start to veer off. Keeping a journal is a very good way of realizing when that starts to happen. And when you do you need to stop and put yourself first.
Love and Love,